we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I still have a little drunk in my system
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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