imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
