Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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