I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
