it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
