so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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