Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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