there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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