Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
