I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
