Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
