I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think my moral compass just broke
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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