Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
