if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
