I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
