have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
