my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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