I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
