I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
