Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
