I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
