My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
send nudes
from the living room?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
