TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
