She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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