His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
