I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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