I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
