I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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