Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
