is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
