false alarm. still invincible.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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