so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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