Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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