allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
