Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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