Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize