There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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