i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
