you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
