can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
