I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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