the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
