I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
