According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
