Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
