I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
