Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
