with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
