He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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