Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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